It’s been a frustrating few months on the health front. I haven’t run in just over five weeks now. I’ve set an early alarm almost every night with every intention of getting up to run in the morning but when the alarm goes off, I just can’t seem to drag my ass out of bed. Instead, I opt for another hour to hour and a half of sleep.
I had another cholesterol test in early March and my numbers had not improved. In fact, they had actually gotten a bit worse. The doctor asked if I knew why this could be and if I thought it was anything I could change. Thinking back, I realized that my exercise was dropping off and I was getting much more slack regarding my food choices – particularly on weekends. Also the rock band has been gigging very heavily over the last couple of months and I frequently make poor dietary choices at/after shows. So, yes. All things within my power to change.
My weight loss has stalled, staying in the 195-200 pound range depending on the day. I suppose I should be glad I’m not gaining any back, but it is frustrating to see progress toward my goal halted. It is even more frustrating to know that I have control over this and that these are the results of the choices I’ve been making. I know how to do this. I know it isn’t complicated. But damn it… it is hard. Really, really hard.
In addition to the impact on my physical health, I can tell that my mental/emotional health is also suffering from all this. I’m having far more grumpy days than not, and those that aren’t grumpy tend more toward apathy than anything else. Stupid little interpersonal things at work that would previously just slide off me now linger and nag.
I’ve been focusing on getting my diet back in order over the last couple of weeks and am starting to feel more comfortable with those re-established routines. While I am still getting some walking in – about three miles three times per week – it isn’t enough. I really need to get back into some sort of routine with the exercise.
I also have to remember that I didn’t just up and change my entire lifestyle overnight a year and a half ago. I need to take this in phases like I did back then or it will be too much to maintain all in one go.